Relationship breakdown and children

If your relationship is becoming difficult, thinking about the impact on children early can be a big help.

Will separation have a negative impact on my children?

It’s commonly accepted that divorce or separation has a negative impact on children, but is this always the case?

In the 11 months to the end of May, we delivered counselling to over 3158 hours of counselling to 433 children aged 4-18.  They tell us they feel anxious, angry, stressed and have low confidence, low self-esteem and low mood.  When we investigate further to find out what is making them feel that way we find:

  • 20% of them tell us it’s because of family problems
  • 15% of them tell us they have been bullied
  • 10% have attachment issues – how they relate to other people and how safe they feel

Children tell us they use family and friends to cope with how they are feeling.  That's why it's important that their parents create a safe environment for them.

Is it possible to have a healthy split?

That’s why it’s really important for families who are thinking of separating to put their children first.  This article, in Psychology Today highlights the fact that it’s parental conflict that has an impact on children’s wellbeing, not their parents splitting up.  Children's mental health suffers in a turbulent home.

If you have decided to separate, it might be a good idea to have some relationship counselling with your partner.  Relationship counselling isn’t there to keep couples together, it can help them to come to a conflict free break up – which will really help their children.

If your partner won’t come with you all is not lost.  As a result of solo counselling you can develop healthy techniques to cope with the breakdown.

If you feel you need some support, then contact us on 0191 4661314 or visit our website to book and appointment.

If your child is struggling, we can provide online counselling to children aged 11+, or face to face counselling to children below 11.

Separating parents doesn’t have to mean a poor outcome for children – with the right kind of support they can thrive.

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